


The Ineffable Game.

by lotusbloom, opalsunsets



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angel Eren Yeager, Comedy, Demon Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Dorks trying to stop the apocalypse, Eren is in love with humans, Erwin is basically god, Eventual Romance, Everyone is a chaotic disaster, Fantasy, Idiots in Love, Jealous Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Kenny is basically Satan, Levi just wants a quiet life, M/M, Oblivious Eren Yeager, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, The Good Omens AU no one asked for, but also with Levi tbh, more or less, there's a lot going on here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:13:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24565948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotusbloom/pseuds/lotusbloom, https://archiveofourown.org/users/opalsunsets/pseuds/opalsunsets
Summary: The end of the world is near and this time it's not only an inaccurate prediction proclaimed by some fervent believer of a higher power or a random lunatic on the internet with nothing better to do in their free time.Now it's happening for real, the armies of Good and Evil are ready to start a war of power that would define once and for all which side deserves to rule over the entire creation, and since they require a battleground, the Earth would suffice. Of course, it needs to be completely vacant first to properly serve that purpose.In a few days, the world as we know it would cease to exist.Unless...A somewhat cranky demon and a rebellious angel would quite like Armageddon not to happen and both of them are willing to join forces if it means conserving the peaceful mundane lives they became quite fond of in the last few centuries.They are humanity's last hope.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 13
Kudos: 43





	1. The Call.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, little sunflowers. ~
> 
> I'm here again, this time with a new story I've been working on alongside @opalsunsets. 
> 
> We've been best friends for ages and one of our shared dreams has always been writing a fanfic together. Now, after years and years of procrastination (literally, it took us like six years to start writing), we're finally here doing our best to give you all a story we hope you enjoy. 
> 
> This is inspired by Good Omens, a book written by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. 
> 
> Yes, we wanted to give you some demon!Levi as a treat *wink, wink*.
> 
> I should tell you that english is not our first language, so we deeply apologize in advance for any future mistakes.
> 
> *As always, we don't own the characters you'll find in this story, they belong to our lord and savior[?], Hajime Isayama.

Not a single living being could have ever imagined that the apocalypse would start with a simple phone call. Not a great announcement proclaimed in front of thousands by an infernal creature, not a formal letter delivered by a horseman mounted on a steed of flaming mane, neither a message written in blood in a language indecipherable for the human eye. An insignificant phone call directed to an even more insignificant pawn, whose notable movements around the chessboard called life were the only things that granted him a privileged place in the front line.

Something so simple, so mundane, that seemed almost impossible to associate to the event that would drastically change not only its receiver's life, but the entire world as we know it.

  


⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Levi considered himself a practical man of modest pleasures. All he needed to be content was a quiet and pristine place, away from the hustle and bustle of the city, a nice cup of hot tea in one hand, and the comforting weight of a good book in the other. That's how he tended to spend every Sunday afternoon when the doors of his adored tea house (because calling it "coffee shop" as some of his acquaintances did to annoy him could be considered a terrible insult to the small business) were closed.

His relaxing weekly ritual brought him much needed peace, helping him replenish enough energy to go back to work on Monday. He had maintained that sacred routine for more than a decade, until one rainy day it was unexpectedly interrupted by Elvis Presley's voice breaking the precious silence inside his apartment.

_**You look like an angel...** _

The lengthy groan of exasperation resonating inside the man's throat could have shaken the center of the Earth with its raw intensity.

_**Walk like an angel...** _

A childish prank of that kind could only be Hange's doing, it had their name imprinted everywhere. For some unknown reason, his infuriating friend deemed the choice of keeping the predetermined ringtone of his mobile too boring and assumed as their life mission to rectify that detail at every chance they got. Maybe Levi would have let that audacity pass, if not for the fact they always managed to choose the most ridiculous songs they could find.

_**Talk like an angel...** _

He really needed to make sure to keep the device away from Hange's dirty paws next time they invaded his home without permission. Stupid shitty glasses, they weren't as funny as they considered themselves to be, not in the slightest. He wanted to throttle them, but he still had to admit that the irony of the lyrics was somewhat amusing.

_**But I got wise..**_.

After all, Levi was a demon. 

_**You're the devil in disguise...** _

Resigning himself to kiss his peaceful rest goodbye, the raven left his porcelain cup over the coffee table and picked up the ringing cell-phone with excessive aggressiveness, like it had personally offended him. Without taking a moment to check the caller ID, the grey-eyed demon accepted the call with a quick slide of a finger. 

"Ackerman", announced, not bothering to lose time on unnecessary formalities.

"Leviathan, it's been an eternity", responded the guttural voice on the other side of the line.

"Definitely not long enough", muttered the raven, who was starting to feel the first symptoms of an imminent headache ready to strike. _Leviathan_ , that name meant nothing but trouble. He couldn't remember when was the last time someone called him such a dreadful way, but merely seconds before he hoped it wouldn't happen again in a long period of time. Of course, things never turn out the way we want them, Levi knew that better than anyone. "What do you want from me this time?"

The unpleasant nasal laugh he obtained in response to his previous words painted a grimace of disgust on the raven's face.

"Straight to the point as always, huh? That's what I like about you, pal", the casual tone shown by the messenger dissolved completely after that moment. His next statement was pronounced with extreme solemnity. "The time has come. The prophecy will finally be fulfilled."

The prophecy. Angels, demons, even an assortment of humans, knew exactly what those words conveyed. The begging of the end. The first step that would ignite a series of catastrophic events which could only symbolize one thing: the extinction of mankind.

Religious people fervently believed the apocalypse would fall over the Earth as a divine punishment for every lost soul who deviated from the sacred path designed by "The Great Creator", but what no one anticipated was that the so feared armageddon had been planned ages ago by two enemy sides whose only purpose was to decide which one deserved to reign over the entire creation. A clash of power between Heaven and Hell where there's complete absence of care for any collateral damage, simply as that.

"Oh. It's good to know, now I won't be caught by surprise. Thanks for the warning". While most immortal beings waited with increasing excitement for the arrival of _D Day_ , Levi lacked of particular interest on the matter. If he was being honest, centuries of normality taught him to appreciate his serene life on this planet. As a demon, his official work included causing a couple of disasters here and there every once in a while, however, other than that the idea of fully destroying the place he learned to call home never crossed his mind. "If that's all..."

"Leviathan", the other demon interrupted before Levi could attain his wish to hang up. "The boss has been watching your work closely and he's pleased with what you've achieved. That's why he's personally assigned you to effect a mission of great importance."

A heavy sigh filled with reluctant resignation flowed from his lips when he managed to process a proclamation that promised a stream inconveniences flooding his perfected earthly life. 

At that moment, Levi did not have the slightest notion of the series of misfortunes a single task as such could inflict not only for himself, but also for the rest of the world.

"We need you to make a special delivery."


	2. The Mysterious Box.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi receives an unexpected visit that symbolizes the beginning of his mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey, this is opalsunsets!
> 
> I can't believe we are doing this after so long. It feels surreal but we're excited and I hope you like this story as much as we do. 
> 
> Sorry in advance if we don't update very often, we'll try, I promise (actually I said it for me because this is like a new experience and I'm very slow at doing my tasks, I'm ashamed).  
> I'm pretty nervous, not gonna lie. I haven't written anything in years. I used to love it when I was young but some things happened and I ended up kind of hating it? Anyways, now I'm glad and grateful for having an amazing best friend aka @lotusbloom because she always believed in me and waited for me and encouraged me to give writing another chance. Also, she's SO talented and I love her. 
> 
> Hopefully we'll write more stories together but for the moment here's chapter 2...

The procedure was simple: receive the package, take it to the established destination and make sure that nothing happened to the parcel along the journey.

What an outrageous and irritating job, thought Levi, totally enraged as he tidied up the crockery set he had used at dinner. It was a beautiful set imported from China, with soft blue lines and small diamonds of the same shade that decorated the upper edges. Levi smiled subconsciously, forgetting his discomfort for a second. But this one was too strong, because he instantly remembered it again.

"The one chosen to play the delivery boy from hell, how wonderful", he muttered under his breath.

When he concluded his task, he checked the time: it was almost midnight. He got a little surprised. He hadn't sensed the passing of the hours. Through the window, the darkness seemed almost solid, and the silence that accompanied it was nearly absolute, occasionally interrupted by the drowsy cooing of a turtledove. His thoughts drifted back to Ackerman's earlier call.

He hadn't mentioned anything about the arrival of the package, or how far he would have to travel to deliver it. He raised his hand towards his face, pressing his index finger and thumb over the arch of his nose in an evident gesture of frustration. He detested the lack of information, detested having to disrupt his routine, and detested being forced to think about work in such an untimely manner when his only concern should be the correct selection of tea for breakfast.

Levi figured that if they were not competent enough to provide him with those details, the valuable package would most likely arrive within the next three months or so. That " big mission" didn't seem crucial at all. 

With that in mind, he headed for his room. His neck felt stiff, so he attempted to relieve his pain by rotating his head to the left, then to the right, and repeating the process.

He'd barely set foot on the first step when he heard it.

A faint buzzing sound reached his ears and made the hairs on his arm stand up, unconsciously, as a sign of anticipation. It was an uncomfortable but familiar noise, gradually increasing in intensity. He knew what came next: a lone rumble of thunder deafened the quietness of the neighborhood and pierced the sky with a swift motion. Beings from hell performed the most dramatic and scandalous apparitions Levi had ever seen. 

That sign meant only one thing: a visit from an infernal creature. Levi closed his eyes and counted to ten to control the wave of fury that threatened to surge from his body. He hadn't yet reached number four, when someone knocked on the back door. Wonderful, Levi thought with the last drop of patience he had, just wonderful.

He strode forward and opened the door roughly. Pieck Finger was standing in front of him. He was a little surprised to see her, but did an excellent job of not showing it. What did catch his attention was the box resting at her feet.

"It's good to see you, Levi", Pieck greeted without a shred of interest.

They looked at each other for a few seconds.

"I'm not going to invite you in, Pieck. Tell me what you want. You're coming at a bad time", added Levi. The furrow between his eyebrows was only getting deeper.

"Calm down, Leviathan", she responded with serenity. Finger was one of the few people who wasn't intimidated or upset by Levi's attitudes. He had to give her some credit. "You think I'm here voluntarily to have tea with you and gossip like old friends? Save me the honor." She answered slowly and with a voice full of sarcasm. "Here."

Pieck bent down and lifted the box with both hands. It was small and black, crafted with sobriety and elegance. It appeared to be large enough to hold one of those miniature dogs, the type that are only accessories, or something like that. Levi had no head for making those kinds of comparisons.

The newcomer placed the object in his outstretched arms and turned around, poised to leave.

"Oi, wait! Damn it, what am I supposed to do with this?!", the raven shouted.

"You know, it's part of the plan", annoyance was beginning to tinge Pieck's voice, who stopped halfway and held his gaze. When she realized Levi was serious, she cleared his throat. "Take him to Mercy Falls? Leave him there before midnight tomorrow? Doesn't that ring a bell?"

The look on Levi's face was enough of an answer.

"Wow, it's weird to be more informed than you", Pieck snorted with a small smirk. "Anyway, I already told you. Take him to the birthing hospital out on the edge of town. First floor, 6th room. And remember not to open it until you are in the right place, otherwise it will be a nightmare for you. It's just a simple recommendation."

Without further ado, Levi watched as Finger's figure stepped back into the middle of the garden and began her transformation. Great, that was going to leave a huge mark on the lawn, he thought. Pieck's body emitted a sort of grey mist, which increased until it enveloped her. When she disappeared, all that remained was the shape of a quadrupedal demon, who set off and crept into the blackness of the night. 

Mentally exhausted, Levi maneuvered with the box as he closed the door and placed it on the kitchen table. His mind quickly organized the new data he obtained and considered his next possible actions. This whole process was cumbersome, unnecessary, and was causing him a severe migraine.

Mercy Falls was a small village in the outskirts of town, a place without anything interesting to offer. The problem was that it was situated almost six hours away from his current location. He would have to start his journey early in the morning, probably around five o'clock. He hated traveling with little time left.

He just wanted to call it a night once and for all, and determined to do so, he headed for his quarters without taking a last look at the box that rested innocently in the center of the room.


	3. The Special Delivery.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi drives to Mercy Falls to complete his mission and finally discovers what's hidden inside the goddamned box that's been ruining his peaceful life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my little sunflowers.~
> 
> Finally, it's time for a new chapter! Sorry for the slow updates, we needed to discuss some details we were missing in the outline of the story, but now we're good to continue.
> 
> Thank you for your patience and for all the support. I hope you enjoy this chapter!♡

The next morning, Levi's mood had only gotten worse. Mondays were usually a nuisance for him, and having to get up at the asscrack of dawn to complete a stupid mission was enough to give him a terrible headache. As if that wasn't enough, that annoying errand interfered with his perfectly organized schedule, forcing him to keep his tea shop closed for the day without having a chance to inform his regular customers about the sudden change.

If only Kenny had deigned to give him the details of the plan in advance, maybe the raven would not have to start his week cursing the universe and all its inhabitants. Being Lord Satan's right-hand man did not give the bastard the right to treat him, the great Leviathan, as a lowly servant he could boss around as he pleased.

Perfect, the rage was beginning to make him address himself by that goddamn name. If he continued to allow his negative emotions to dominate him, he would not succeed in keeping his human form intact the entire length of the trip. 

He was in dire need of a cup of tea. Or a drink. 

Or both.

Dressed in one of his expensive designer suits, the most casual one he could find in his closet as a silent protest, the demon descended the stairs and headed straight to the kitchen. 

The source of all his problems awaited him in the same spot where he had left it the night before, sitting innocently on the table as if his mere existence did not damage his own by the simple fact of being there. For a moment, he couldn't resist entertaining the idea of throwing the damn thing into the river and forgetting about it forever, but he knew that if he dared to act on his fantasies, Kenny would surely made his life miserable for all eternity. And when he said "eternity," he meant it literally.

Letting out a sigh of resignation, the raven opened a cabinet to take out one of the porcelain cups that formed part of his collection, immediately dedicating himself to the relaxing brewing process that entailed obtaining the perfect drink. That familiar fragment of his routine contributed to calm his nerves a bit, although not enough to keep him from pouring half a flask of Scotch into his morning dose of Earl Grey when it finished infusing. 

"Let's get this over with," he mumbled before drinking the entire scalding hot contents of the cup in one gulp.

He had a long way to go before he could disengage himself once and for all from the damned prophecy. 

  


⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

The drive to Mercy Falls was so tedious and boring that it presented the perfect opportunity to immerse himself in his own thoughts.

As much as he wished to remain on the sidelines, Levi could not help but wonder what might be the mysterious object hidden inside the box that occupied the passenger seat next to him. Of course, he knew the prophecy inside and out as well as any other creature from Heaven or Hell, but the precise details of how it would be implemented step by step remained jealously guarded by the inner circle closest to their leader. For centuries, despite the many tempting offers placed at his feet to get him on board with that select group, the demon always ensured that he preserved his role as a spectator, watching from the bleachers without bothering to offer his participation. 

For the first time in a long time, caught up in the intrigue, he vaguely questioned his own decision. He hated not knowing. 

Still, his curiosity did not surpass the limits of his good judgment. If Finger recommended not to open the box under any circumstances, there must have been a sensible reason for her to give him such a cryptic warning.

After hours of pondering and glancing sideways at his inanimate traveling companion to make sure it didn't burst into flames or something, the demon arrived at the shady looking hospital ten minutes early. At least he wouldn't have to worry about the repercussions of a potential delay.

Getting out of his beloved Bentley with the intricately crafted box under his arm, Levi obtained a better view of the place. 

The grim construction looked old, although the fresh layer of varnish covering the wide doors that divided the building, as well as the walls free of traces carved out by the passing of time, denoted a fairly well-cared-for property. Above the threshold of the entrance was a bronze plaque with the inscription "Chattering Order of St. Claire" engraved in gothic letters. A peculiar name, indeed.

The appearance of the hospital, as well as the faint aura of dark energy that the demon could taste on his palate, could only mean one thing. 

That congregation worshipped Satan. 

"I should have known," muttered Levi, and after exhaling dramatically, he stepped into the intimidating hallways of the building to get rid of the stupid package at long last. 

At the reception, an anxious-looking nun was waiting for him, her eyes completely glued to the clock hanging on the wall behind the counter. Her attention was so focused on the movement of the clock's hands that Levi had to loudly clear his throat to get the woman to notice his presence.

"Oh! Are you the messenger?" she inquired with far too much enthusiasm for his liking. That choice of words made him nauseous, but before he could defend his high rank, the nun continued. "You are early! What a joy to have you in our humble congregation, welcome. It is a great honor to have you here. We are all so happy to receive an emissary from our beloved lord Satan, the almighty governor of hell..."

That incessant chatter provided a new meaning to the name written on the entrance plaque. 

"Listen," the demon interrupted without bothering to conceal his annoyance, "I didn't come here for a play date to praise the Devil and write odes to his immeasurable power as if we were part of his fucking harem. Just get this box and do with it whatever the boss's lackeys ordered you to, I'm gone." With that said, he pushed the box into the sister's arms with more force than necessary and immediately turned to leave.

After taking a few steps, he halted sharply to deliver a final proclamation. "Oh, and just so you know, Satan doesn't like bootlickers," and without wasting any time in paying one last look at his interlocutor, Levi continued to walk down the corridor until the sound of his expensive loafers stopped resounding in the building.

  


⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

The sun was beginning its descent into the horizon when Levi finally returned home. Not even his extreme driving skills were able to reduce his travel hours enough to allow him to open his establishment in time for tea time.

Exhausted and moody as he felt, the demon chose to take the rest of the day off and go straight to relax his tired muscles with a nice warm bath. He would need several scented candles and perhaps one of the gleaming bath bombs that Isabel brought for him from her trip to Paris last month to get rid of the bad taste the trip left him. 

He was barely undoing the first buttons of his shirt when his phone started vibrating in the pocket of his trousers. 

Levi wanted to scream.

Determined to ignore the call, he continued to remove the garment but, before his hands could reach his belt buckle, the call connected itself, letting an irritatingly familiar voice flow through the speaker. 

He forgot the bastard could do shit like that.

"Leviathan, my boy," Kenny greeted with his signature layer of hypocrisy. "A little bird told me that you completed the mission as instructed, without any inconvenience. I expected nothing less from you." 

"Yes, I moved a box from one place to another without ruining it, what a success. I deserve a medal of honor," Levi responded as he rolled his eyes, every word permeated with as much sarcasm as he could muster. 

The condescending laughter of his superior caused his stomach to turn in anger. 

"Don't be so modest, kid. You handled the situation perfectly and with no accidents. Imagine what would've happened if the box had been opened and the little monster had woken up early," the new laugh Kenny let out sounded like a mockery of something Levi couldn't understand. "Oh, man. Just imagine having to deal with a baby during a whole road trip, you wouldn't have survived that torture."

Did he just say—

"Baby?" asked the demon, so confused that he found it impossible to articulate beyond that. 

A silent pause took over the line for the next few seconds.

"Don't you know?" Even if the bastard sounded incredulous, Levi was able to detect the smile in his tone.

"Know what exactly?", part of him was beginning to tie up some loose ends using his basic knowledge about the subject, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer that might confirm a theory too frightening to be accepted at that point. 

"Leviathan, you've personally ensured that the Antichrist was released onto the face of the earth. Congratulations."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi can drink a scalding cup of tea as if it were a shot, but also needs his Lush bath bombs to be happy. Get a man who can do both[?]. 
> 
> Eren's appearance is closer than you think, I promise. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Until next time. Stay safe. ♡

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Please let us know if you like our story so we can use that motivation to keep on writing. Kudos and comments are much appreciated. 
> 
> Stay safe.
> 
> With love, ren flower. ♡


End file.
